Fashion will definitely drive me crazy. We're right in the middle of July and I've already started buying clothes for next winter. I know. Next trends are exposed everywhere in the magazines, on fashion channel or on the Internet, and it's just so... exciting. I can't wait to go out with a big belted coat, a huge and warm cardigan with a large mesh, thick shorts and black leggings, laced open toe boots, nude shirt with lovely flounces, rolled up men trousers and my usual and huge, huge, huge green chloé scarf... Can't wait either to wear only black, brown, grey, nude and purple. You know, I just turned all of that in a game. It's quite funny to try to choose trends that I like from the runways and put them in my daily outfits, always in accordance with what I do in the day. I was checking out the new collection in a famous store the other day, and I found a pair of pants just like one of Chloé's collection. Same color, same shape, same belt, same everything. And then I just thought it was too easy. After all, it was just man trousers that you roll up and wear high on your waist, wasn't it? Well, I'm going to do mine by myself. You feel so much proud when you find a way to make an item "unique", well not exactly, but I mean something you did on your own, even if it follows trends or anything. Last winter, I made a "Givenchy like" necklace, with a lot of necklaces and chains; this summer, well it was very easy, but I didn't buy any Current Elliot or 7 For All Mankind jeans, I just took some of my father or vintage ones, rolled them up and cut them. A lot of girls did the same, and I think it's a good way to have fun with fashion by your creativity. I know that's nothing, really simple stuffs, but that's a beginning though, and I hope I'll have loads of other opportunities to do this. Anyway, I also wanted to say that fashion drive me crazy because I sometimes don't know if a like such or such item because I really like it or just because it's... trendy. Arhhgg I become everything I used to hate: I am a sheep! You know, it's like the camel belted coat, big trend of next season. Being in my "winter shopping period", I was searching for one the other day, and then I remember that what I love more than everything in the cold season (about clothes, I mean) is the big black coat. And, so what? I just forget it, just because Vogue and Harper's Bazaar said that a camel coat (color that I used to hate, except for the shoes) was the next "must have"? Then I felt really stupid. But you know, sometimes you first don't like a thing, and then you see so much, everywhere, that you get used to it, and sometimes you end to like it. For example, when I saw Chloé's new collection something like six months ago, I was totally disappointed and said that it was so old fashion. Now I adore it. See? It's like a subliminal message. Or propaganda. Haha. Anyway, the thing is that I start to like that damned Max Mara's camel belted coat. But there's still a few months before we have to take out coats, wooly hats (I already know which one I'm gonna wear aaaall the winter!), scarfs and gloves, so we'll see... I really hope that if a finally decide to buy a camel coat, it will be because I really love it, and not because I became a fashion victim. daùzoifhdaoeifhzroghrqemlfjqzràç'utçr anyway, it was my superficial entry of the week, it's so hard to be a girl, hahahaha! Whatever, I'm gonna watch Sex and the City.
- Mood:lazy
- Music:cobra starship feat. leighton meester - good girls go bad
Hello you! I haven't written here since a few days (weeks?) I know, but that's because my holidays are doing very well and I don't have a lot of time to... Right, I'm lying. I was just lazy. Anyway, I've just spent more than a week with Sarah here in Paris; is this really useful to write that I enjoyed every moment with her and that the last few days were totally and absolutely great? Well, I guess you know all of that. We've checked out some cool exhibitions and museums, read stupid magazines, went to London (yeah! My super d.a.d found my i.d card!), did a LOT of shopping (ouch), went to a nice party, sailed off on the Seine with James, watched silly teen movies... Anyway, we had a lot of fun. I've also had my Bac results and I'm fully satisfied, I never thought that I'd get that! I really feel I'm on holiday now. I went to the movies with my sister yesterday and watched the last Harry Potter - it took me back to the primary school, when I was litteraly devouring all Rowling's books. Once, I even went to the coming out of the fourth - if I remember well - book with one of my best friends then. We were wearing witches' dresses and capes. Funny. So, the film was pretty cool, I liked it even if my sister and I were on the front row, thing that I hate, because we were late for the showing. As always, right. Oh and I've lately also watched... Well, before I tell you that, I have to justify myself: you know what it is, when you're on holiday... You need to hang around, do nothing, watch bad movies with bad food and bad clothes... So, I was about to write that I've watched Twilight a few days ago... Hahahaha, I know. This movie is a big joke actually. Some people told me before I see it that it was sure that I was going to hate it - too cheesy, too silly for the "non-romantic" person that I am, they said. And they were right! I can't even say how many clichés there were in that movie, it was so, so, so cheesy! And the story is shitty. But I do think that the idea of Stephenie Meyer wasn't that bad in the beginning, it's just too bad that she didn't develop it more - like J.K Rowling did for Harry Potter. See, Rowling created a whole universe around the protagonist, you know, like the magic formula, the monsters, the History... It takes the reader in another world, and makes him/her believe that everything can be true and possible. That something I haven't seen in the movie Twilight. Meyer just took a little vampire - I love vampires, I always loved vampires, and I find the idea good actually - and... that's it. Then she just built a cheesy love story about him and a human girl, and put a hunt in the story, that begins with a baseball game (very stupid, in my view) just to make it more interesting. Just because a "bad vampire" smells the human girl during a baseball game, that's it, he just want to eat her and no one else? There's no other human on earth? Come on, it doesn't have any sense! As my sister said, they create problems with nothing (just like in H... hahahah). Anyway, I just find the story and the movie disappointing when there are vampires and blood in the beginning. I think I'm going to watch The Reader today, I also need to see "good" movie during my holiday, haha! Bye, bye.
- Mood:exhausted
- Music:royksopp - vision one
The beginning of those holidays is kind of great... and hot. I'm litteraly dying and I HATE that goddammned sun. Whatever I do, I know I'm gonna spend a crappy day because of the heat. Anyway, I still had good times since friday - let's not talk about my oral exam, that's all. I went to the Solidays fest and it was g-r-e-a-t; front row for Metronomy's show yaaaay! It was SO amazing. I think one of the best moments of that day was also Puppetmastaz's show: then I felt so, so good, and I just let their beats take me away, I was like living the music. I didn't like their music at all before the gig though, but I found it was very different to what I heard on myspace before - or maybe it was simply the atmosphere of the fest that made me enjoy the music. Naive New Beaters was good too; I discovered them a few weeks ago, and I got kind of bored by their songs, but the show was okay anyway. Well I'm totally satisfied by these first days off! I also took my "Saturday's habits" back, I mean by that doing shopping in Saint-Germain-des-Prés, eating sushis in Saint-Michel, have a cup of coffee/tea with my sister there, and lots of other little stuffs that make me happy. I wanted to go to the skatepark yesterday, but a shitty stuff happened with my i.d card that I lost, and I'm living for London in like one week, so I had to find it. I cross Paris under that fu..ing sun to go to the police station, but then they told me "Yes, we'll probably get your card, but we can't give it to you before twelve days". Whaaaat?!!!!! See; I love french administration (booo, what a prejudice!). So I pray for getting my card before... huh... next Wednesday? Ahhh it won't happen! I'm so exciting by this day in London! With Sarah! I promised her last year that we would go there together one day... Here we are! I just can't wait... Oxford and Regent streets... Jubilee garden... Picadilly Circus... yayayayyay! Today's the hottest day of the week; I think I'm gonna lock my self in the fridge and don't get out of it before next winter. See what's awful with the sun and the heat? You just can't stop talking about them. It becomes an obsession. Anyway, I just want to do nothing when the weather is like that. I'm going to a party tomorrow, and I already feel lazy. And after tomorrow there's the second and last tea party, it's gonna be great however! I'm not saying that I don't wanna go to the one of tomorrow but... Actually I think I don't. But that's always the same story with me, I don't wanna go first, and after that I just wanna go back to the party cause it was great. As I said in one of my last entries, I'm really getting bored of myself. Well, we'll see. Oh, and the worst part of the story is probably that I don't have anything to wear for that party. I haven't bought any clothes since like... I don't even remember the last time I bought something to wear (I mean to wear, not to wear on the face right? I don't also mean the shoeswear. Or headwear. You know what I mean.)... Maybe three weeks, or even four weeks. Maybe more. Actually, I'm saving my money for London. What's more, I don't like sales in Paris. I don't say that to be pretentious; it's just that I don't like crowds, sweat, noise and mess. And every year, what I want is never selled off anyway. That's what we call bad luck. It's like, you know, that oral exam. Okay, I know I said that I didn't want to talk about it, but it makes me SO angry! And frustrated! There were seven subjects you see, and there's just one that I really didn't want to have because all I knew about that was crap, and guess what? I got it, what a surprise! Well, I know that if I had another one, I'd probably complain about it til the end of summer. This is me being a pain, isn't it ? Anyway, I know it's useless to think about that before the results, 10th July. I wish we could go back in time. As always, actually. I think I have nothing to write anymore, so I'm gonna find a way to kill myself with water, ice, without suffering if it's possible. Have a nice day!
- Mood:hot
- Music:puppetmastaz - animals
6 HOURS LEFT. I wanna die so I don't go.
- Mood:scared
- Music:chromatics - running up that hill
This is the last one. That sentence was running in my head over and over again during the whole day. How sad. How awful, I could even say. But I don't really feel like it is the end of the year YET. We still have some French classes next week, and of course all the exams that are coming so fast... I told myself I would lock myself in during my revision, but I know I won't. And even if I would, I know Nada will kidnap me and take me away to eat some sushis. As always. What a wonderful girl, isn't she? I don't realize yet that in a few weeks (or days?), I will probably never see again some people of my class. I think that's the saddest part of those "goodbyes times", and I know that's just "the way it is", life goes by, people leave, we meet some new ones, then they leave, then we meet some new ones... The thing is, even if I'm pretty lucid about that, I still hate those moments though, because I've been so much times disappointed by beautiful promises, that have never been kept. You know what is it... words. Anyway, as I said before, all I have to do now is enjoying the last moments, without asking any questions, and most importantly, without expecting anything from the future. I had my school results today, and I can say that I'm kind of satisfied! Good point. I think I'm getting obsessed by the school record for what I want to do after high school, I'm even getting some doubts about what I was sure of before (huh english?). Like... the kind of studies I want to do. Like... the way I'm gonna follow. Like... everything. That's always the same story with me, I never know what I want, never know what I have to do, and I'm getting kind of bored with that. I am so annoying. At this point of the year, I don't want to assess of what happened this year, how I felt about everything - it's just so cliché, and I will never be done with that. Actually, I'd just say that it was an amazing year. I regretted during months having chosen this L class, but now that I learned so much things, that I read so beautiful books, that I've done things that I really love and probably live for during a year, I can just say that it wasn't such a bad choice - I don't know if it was the good one though. We'll see - but next year seems to be more and more awesome than this year. I'll write more later I guess, I'm quite tired; good night LJ.
- Music:télépopmusik - tuesday
Time goes by so fast. How cliché this sentence sounds. But this is actually the only one that can represent my state of mind these last few days or weeks. We are almost done; not with high school yet, but at least with this Première class. Exams are coming, summer too, holiday in that way too. It doesn't make me feel happy or anything; well, I'm stressed out and everything because of the Bac, as everybody I guess, but I also feel a bit sad to finish this year. It was basically an awesome one, and even if it's gonna be good to take a little two months break, I have to admit that I'm gonna miss all of this. So I'm gonna try to enjoy every single second of the days we have left, enjoy of people that won't be there anymore next year, AND try not to mess up my work at school. That's all I want for now. So I guess that all I have to say now is... see you in a few weeks!
- Music:mono - gone
I noticed today that you always have something to tell about when you're back from Paris. Suburb is so boring. When you have spent a whole day in it and go back home, there's nothing to talk about, it's like :" - What did you do today ? - Nothing... I just saw X. - Oh, yeah? What was he doing? - He was with Y. - And what were they doing? - Nothing. Just hanging out." Well, maybe I'm exagerating a little bit, but I'm not that far from reality. I don't know, things are always happening in Paris, there's always something new. Look, I went out to an area where I use to spend all my saturdays, and I discovered today that two new stores opened in only one week - yes, they weren't there last saturday. Huh. Paris, city of my heart. It always has another dimension, like we're not in the same world as anywhere else. In Paris, people sit the whole afternoon on a pavement area just reading a book, people wait twenty minutes just to enter in Ladurée's café, people have a walk in a lovely garden even if it's raining, people line up for hours just to see an exhibition... There's always something new to discover, new smells, new places, new people, new streets... You cannot be done with Paris. And I love Paris, because it's a symbol of simplicity, cultur and elegance. When I'm in this city, I'm pleased about everything, anything. So as I was about to say, I lost myself there today, caught a few buses, ran because I was late to meet my sister in a charming café in Saint-Germain des Prés, talked to a hobo in the train, bought some macaraons... and had to go back to my town early because I had a guitar rehearsal. Gosh. It's always like that when I have to leave the city - I mean THE City , I'm always depressed in the train, looking out of the window, listening to sad songs, thinking about the tragedy of my life... HAHAHA just kidding, what a cliché. No seriously, I love taking the train, but not in that way. What's more, it always passes by my former school, which is now almost totally destroyed because of some building works, or I don't know, and I feel so sad when I see all these places where we spent so much time buried by the stones. Anyway, the good thing is that I'm at home early for once, so I can work and revise my bac. How wonderful. I can't wait to be the next week-end: 1) my guitar exam will be behind me, 2) we will have three days off, 3) I plan something like shopping, café, restaurant with my sister, Ez3kiel's show with my class, theater and movies. But until then, I really have to do something with my brain, cause I feel like I'm going to mess up my life in those last days - wait, isn't it like every day, every time?
- Mood:worried
- Music:saez - holding on to you @ bataclan
I don't have much to say (yeahyeah, as always I KNOW) but I don't have much to write on my english essay either, even if I really love the subject ("Has a book, film or tv programme ever been a source of inspiration to you?") - so I thought that maybe writing here could help me a little? Right, stupid idea. Anyway, my holidays are not very interesting you know : exhibition, movies, shopping, cafés, movies again, homework, guitar, piano, shopping again, books, restaurants, etc. I went to Albert Kahn's gardens today with my father and it was great! The gardens were lovely, we took loads and loads of photos! It's a real piece of paradise, among buildings, roads and everything -weird, I know. Very peaceful, I could have sat there and read a book during hours. Talking about book, I'm currently diving in German cultur (ach, ach!). I watched Dennis Gansel's Die Welle yesterday, and all I can say is: HUGE. AMAZING. WOW!!!! This is the story of a teacher who tries to prove to his pupils that a new dictatorship can exist now in Germany, by creating one in his class first, which will reach the whole school then. In some ways, it's a quite hard movie that makes you think a lot; even scary, I could say. Then you think "oh god, it's so easy to manipulate humans, and after all, it is totally possible that a new dictatorship comes out now". Scary, I told you. Anyway. I'm also reading Goethe's Die Leiden des jungen Werthers (huh in French, of course); I WANT TO LIVE IN THE XIXth CENTURY!!!!!! People were so sensitive, and felt things - I mean, they really felt something. But this is also me being to complicated, because I'm always complaining about feeling nothing in this world, but when I really feel something, I just freak out, try to forget everything and become apathetic again. Huh?
- Mood:irritated
- Music:the hives - tick tick boom
Done, done done!!!! Yeaaaah, I'm feeling so relieved! Whoaaa, I thought we would never get through that contest. I probably won't go to my practise test tomorrow, too tired, too lazy, just want to get STUPID. I don't know if you know what I mean, but after spending six hours -right, five hours and 45 minutes- in a god-damned room writing anything that in my mind, I just want to feel dumb. I think I messed my essay up, but I'm very glad to have done it again because I had so much more fun than last time. Words came by their own, instead of me trying to spit them on my sheet (fuck si mon anglais est incompréhensible), and this is the way I love to write. Fortunately, we went to Paris after that, on the wharfs and then in a park just to let ourselves go and have some rest, lying in the grass or sitting on the floor, talking about books or listenning to music. It was pretty cool, as always. I also wanted to check Warhol's exhibition at the Grand Palais tonight with James and Margaux, but I just feel so exhausted, so hungry and so used, that I'll probably have a shower, read a book and sleep for at least ten hours. So good week-end and please take a look at my deviantart page, new photos will be put on very soon.
- Mood:sick
- Music:saez - yellow tricycle
Oww SHITTY BODY! It must be something like the fourth or fifth time I'm seeing that lousy doctor this month because there's ALWAYS something wrong about me. Nothing serious, but my parents are like paranoid so... Hmm anyway let's talk about something else. Actually, I don't have lots to say today -well, as always. A lot of things happened these last few days and others will probably happen soon (or not?) but I don't want to put anything personnal on the Internet so I can't say anything else but "I feel sick, Slumdog Millionaire is a good movie but doesn't deserve eight oscars in my view, and I'm going to the skate park this week-end". But wait, it is not forbidden to think, isn't it? So this is what's in my mind now. I'm often under the impression that if some people like -or worst love- me, it's because they don't really know me, because if they do, they wouldn't. Huh? Anyway, forget it. I just wonder if some other people feel this way, I mean, if someone feels like he/she is a liar everyday? Like you're not true, you're always lying to everybody just because you are simply a bad person. This is an awful feeling when you discover it, but after that you just have to live with. I know some would say that you can change but what if you can't? It must be because you're really bad, isn't it? Well, I sometimes think so. You keep living with this kind of "hidden part", which is not necessarily hidden but it's just that some people don't see it. But I don't understand why they don't. Maybe because they loved you before you became so mean; well, that's not possible because I think you were born bad. So? I don't know. You're a fake, a damned fake yes, you are a hypocrite, you don't deserve the ones who love you, but you're still at their sides, you still lives with them, talk to them, lie to them, loves them. This is the height of the viciousness.
- Mood:crappy
- Music:sum 41 - best of me
I've just heard the biggest joke of the year and I have to share it with you. Well, I didn't write it here yet, but you have to know that the contest that I had last week has been cancelled because there was a mistake in the subject's sentence. The funny thing is that I didn't read mine right, and what I read was the good one; but till then it's okay because as I said, I made shit, even if I had the real sentence. So, no problem, those six hours of "work" weren't wasted with this cancellation because they were already wasted at the moment I started writing my essay. Anyway, they obviously told us that we would have a new test with a new subject, before the next holiday -that is to say 11th April. Our french teacher told us yesterday that we're gonna have a practise test on 4th April, 8:00 am to 12:00; alright, great, it's gonna a be a way to practise writing and everything for our first "A-levels" test in June. Yeah. Except that I've just read that the new date of the contest was... 3th April. PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME A GUN. Last Friday (that is to say one week ago, that is to say one day after the first contest) was awfuly awful; by the way, we had a math test that day, and it was a real disaster. I swear. So I really don't know how I'm gonna handle this. My mom suggested me no to take part in that contest, because after all, it's not that important, you know. But (ok, what I'm about to write is totally stupid, one of those "girls' stuffs" that I hate) it's a sign! Seriously, I messed up my first essay, but I had the good subject, even if I didn't know the sentence before, and then it's cancelled. This is my second chance. My only second chance to prove what I can. No matter if I fail once again, I just can't miss it!
- Mood:good
- Music:martin solveig - give it to me
CRAPPY WEEK. I don't even wanna hear anything about the contest of Tuesday - I made shit, and some shitty stuffs happened to me and to some friends of mine. Anyway, I have to deal with it and take care about them. Thank god, our (I mean, to me and a friend of mine who had this contest too) soundtrack of Tuesday was composed of Vivaldi's Four Seasons and "Genetic World" by Telepopmusik, and I really can say that it saved of part of my day. The only good point of these last few days is Gus Van Sant's Harvey Milk, that I saw yesterday with some guys of my class, in Paris. I just can't find any word to tell you how beautiful this movie is, and how I felt after seeing it. What could I say? It's a master piece. Very touching. Sean Penn is... He's awesome, really. Danny Elfman's music was probably the most wonderful soundtrack he has ever written and made an explosion of feelings of every moment of the movie. There's no word to describe that movie, that's all. I need new shoes.
- Mood:sad
- Music:archive - fuck you
I decided that today's gonna be a great day, and nothing is going to foul this up. I woke up this morning with Chase Coy, and better than everything Telepopmusik's songs, so it could just be a good day; right, I forgot my very-important-USB-key for my practise test but everything was fine, I caught a bus in only three minutes and went back home and take this precious key. Yay. Then, my work group and I got this practise test. We were a bit nervous in the beginning, but we love the subject of our presentation (Tim Burton) so much that we forgot all our stress and did something great; our teachers loved it! They said it was perfect; we couldn't believe it. Anyway, we're gonna work a little bit more this week-end, after eating sushis in Paris and searching a disguise for the next week's carnaval - by work, I mean cooking some pancakes and cookies and watching all Burton's movies. Sounds great! Till there, I have a French contest tomorrow -six hours. GOSH. Fortunately, five other guys of my class will be there too and I think it will be an interesting experience -even if we have to wake up at 05:00 am. Huh. That's funny because everybody was worried about something different: for some ones, it was six hours without eating, for some other ones it was six hours without smoking... Personally, I'm worried about those six hours without, hmm... pee. And maybe a little bit because there will be the best students of France, because Victor Hugo, Alfred de Musset, Charles Baudelaire, Pierre Bourdieu, Arthur Rimbaud, Schumann, Léon Blum, Roland Barthes Camille Desmoulins and hundreds of other amazing men took this contest before us, and because I've almost never wrote any essay of my life -yes, we have to write an essay during those six hours. But it's alright, everything is gonna be alright... isn't it?
- Music:vivaldi - winter, 1st movement
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD. I still can't believe it. It's a pure miracle, I tell you. Oh my god. BLINK 182 IS BACK AGAIN!!!!!!!! That's so amazingggggggg, they're back together, yeah, yeah, yeaaaah, Travis, Tom and Mark, to-ge-therrrrr! *take a deep breath* Well, let's calm down. Anyway, as you can see I'm very excited, and now I just can't wait to listen to their new record (summer 2009!) and see them for the first time ever when they'll come here in France! Of course, I started to listen to their Greatest Hits again, because it's been a long time I haven't listen to all of them; and it's so great to listen to What's my age again?, Down, Feelin' this, Always, Dammit, or All the small things, again, or my favourite ones, Stockholm Syndrome and Adam's Song. They have always been the most awesome punk rock kids ever, and everyone inevitably loved them one day, at least for one of their song. So now I hope they'll keep making funny music videos like they used to do, and go on tour very soon. Oh my god, I feel like it's four years ago at the moment; times were so good then. Blink 182 rooooooocks!
That being said, I'm still exhausted, even if I'm a bit better now. I had a big French test this morning about a book that I hadn't finished but anyway, it's over! Anne and I even screamed when we went out of our class room, we were so releaved! I have to admit that I messed it up, but anyway I almost feel I'm on holiday -well, almost, because I have a German test tomorrow, but that's really nothing compared to the one we had this morning, which was so stressful, you just can't imagine. After that, it's holidaaaay! I have SO MUCH plans that, of course, I won't keep as always. But tomorrow evening we're going to have an American dinner at Leo's place with a few friends of my class, it's going to be very amazing I think. I bought some stuffs for the cooking yesterday with James, Carmen and Anne, and I guess they're going to prepare something great. And saturday, Gaelle is coming to Paris, so I hope we will have a great day, with Estelle too, yay! And I don't tell you about aaaall the movies I have to see with my sister, the Sonia Rykiel's exhibition with Carooooole, cafés, shopping, photo exhibition at the Parc the Sceaux, the day at Troyes with Céline, etc. In summary, these holidays are going to be pretty much cool. But for the moment I have to focus myself on my test of tomorrow; but after the ordeal of this morning, I feel so free that I spent my whole afternoon watching Desperate Housewives and Skins (the season three sucks, by the way). I went to the choir too (for once!), it bored me like everytime I go -which means something like once a month I think. Anyway it's 20:32pm now, I woke up at 4:00am this morning so I'm quite tired and I'm guessing that I'm going to do the same tomorrow because I haven't started learning my German lesson. How stupid I am. For once I have lots to write on my LJ (I said "lots", not "interesting" right?), I can't stay long. It seems that someone doesn't want me to talk about my life, haha (and I understand him/her so much). So, good evening and good Friday 13th hahahaa! Oh, and before I go... I DON'T want to hear about this crappy valentine's day, it makes me sickkk, everybody is SO cheesy, so silly on this stupid day and only think about buy: buy a present, buy flowers, buy a reservation for the restaurant, buy shitttt. Gosh, love takes people's brains or what? Anyway, sorry for today, I know this entry is a bloody mess. See you!
- Music:never shout never - your biggest fan
These last two days were awfully awful. Okay, I’m exaggerating a lot, but it wasn’t a good time anyway. First, I’ve never felt that tired in my entire life, I swear. It was like I had an empty body without any feeling, any emotion, actually I think I was totally apathetic, listless. So weird. I was walking through the park of my school but I didn’t feel the wind on my face, I didn’t feel my feet walking step by step, I didn’t have any thought in my head except my voice talking to myself, in English of course, which wasn’t a good thing at all by the way. I could hit a tree or be hit by a car, it wouldn’t make any difference, I thought. I was a bit “depressed” too, if I can say that, about what I wrote lately in my last livejournal entry if I remember well. Margaux is currently thinking a lot about all of that too, and it makes me feel good to be supported by someone else, even if it’s just crazy thoughts and dreams, influenced by movies, books and songs. We do things but we even don’t know why. We don’t know what our goal is. Anyway, I felt that way the whole Friday, sleeping in class, being in a zombie mood when I was walking in the street… The good thing is that I wasn’t scared when I played the guitar in front of a little crowd at my concert this evening, so I think it wasn’t as bad as what I figured out. Good point. My parents’ car got also broke, so I had to walk home when it was over (for once) and I think this little “night walk” killed me for good; if I would have taken any medicine that day, I would be in a coma right now. So you can’t imagine how happy I was when I went back home, ‘cause I was dreaming of that moment the whole day, and then I went to bed and fell asleep watching Paranoid Park. How exciting my life is.
Today, I went to Paris to do some shopping, which was absolutely not reasonable because I have an other practise test on Monday (sciences this time), but I know that I wouldn’t have worked a lot at home anyway; it's Saturday, so I just can’t. I didn’t buy anything. Well, right, I mean I didn’t buy any clothes. Everytime I saw a nice stuff, it didn’t suit to me or it wasn’t the good size and I was too lazy to get the good one, so it was a kind of useless day. But the new collections gave me some outfits ideas for this summer that I’d like to share with you (and I don’t car if you don’t care, if someone is reading me). So, this spring and this summer, I’ll PROBABLY (it depends on my goddamn legs and ass) skinny, short legs, flare and boy fit denim trousers, light white or flower shirts, country style tops, cool, loose and funny t-shirts, with summer bar heels, Fred Perry for the casual sneakers, oversized green, white or purple sunglasses as always, very light pink nail color, and a mix of a schoolbag and a shopping-bag (probably a vintage one). That would be great. But spring makes me depressed, as every year at the same moment; it snowed though today, but seeing all those flashy colors in all the shops and fashion magazines, the temperatures up to 5°C every morning, the evening coming later and later… I hate all of that. If only we had only two seasons: winter and fall! It would be so, so great. I think I’m going to read a little bit now for my big test about Rousseau; the next week is going to be a dreadful hell, but if I survive to it, I promise I’ll post something new here very soon -- god bless livejournal to bear me telling about my useless days.
- Mood:apathetic
- Music:saez - clandestins
Ok now I do miss shopping. And as always it's NOT really a good time for getting stuffs because as everywhere in the world, or at least in its selfish, greedy and materialistic countries, that we called developped countries, sales have already begun since a week. I hate sales. Yeah I know it's cool to spend less money and buy more things and everything, but I hate crowds. Wait, actually I think I like them, because I can hide myself in it, you see? But I hate them though, because of the noise, the "too much people" in them, the restricted space, etc. Oh gosh, I shouldn't have start this entry... Anyway all I wanted to say is that sales are an awful time for me when I wanna buy something; and I actually do. So I think I'm gonna take a walk in Paris after tomorrow and we'll see then. Anyway, let's stop talking about useless and superficial things.
I feel like eating some sushis right now even if I ate some yesterday and I'll eat some on Saturday. Sushi are DRUGS. I don't even know why we still eat something else while there's such a perfect food on earth. WHY am I talking about food on my LJ page??? When I'll have my own appartment, my job, my car, my cat, my fridge and all this boring stuffs, I will eat sushis at every meal. Seriously. With soya of course. I'll always change my meals too, so I won't grow tired (huh, is that english? weird.), and it's gonna be like salmon on Monday, cucumber on Tuesday, tunny on Wednesday, shrimp on Thursday, egg on Friday, etc. Then I could say that I see life in sushi. Jeez, it's time for me to go bed.
These last few days, I watched Paranoid Park like a thousand time -well, not entirely, but everytime I watched a big part though. That's because of my sister, she bought the dvd and she's like totally crazy about that movie (ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit, 'cause my sister's never crazy, she's jaded; except when we "don't stop, get it, get it" in my room ahahaha!). It's cool, I love Gus Van Sant and this movie is one of my favourite ones. By the way, there are loads of movies coming out that look pretty good, like The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Afterwards, Revolutionary Road or Bolt (yes, yes, the little dog). Mozart's requiem is so depressing, I'm going to put an other song on. Ok the new one is not better. Anyway, what was I saying? Yes, the movies. Well, I think I'll go and watch Afterwards on Saturday with my dad and sister, and maybe last Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona on Sunday if I have enough time after doing my homework. I have to read lots and lots of books too, but I can't finish the one I'm actually reading, it is so boring (eighteenth century of course, huh). And guess what? I even didn't finish my Poe's one. I suck so, so, so, so much. Furthermore, my two big toes are the ugliest in the world. What? I'm not drunk, I didn't smoke anything weird, well I actually didn't smoke anything at all. I'm just a little bit (ok, forget the "little") tired and stupid.
I feel like eating some sushis right now even if I ate some yesterday and I'll eat some on Saturday. Sushi are DRUGS. I don't even know why we still eat something else while there's such a perfect food on earth. WHY am I talking about food on my LJ page??? When I'll have my own appartment, my job, my car, my cat, my fridge and all this boring stuffs, I will eat sushis at every meal. Seriously. With soya of course. I'll always change my meals too, so I won't grow tired (huh, is that english? weird.), and it's gonna be like salmon on Monday, cucumber on Tuesday, tunny on Wednesday, shrimp on Thursday, egg on Friday, etc. Then I could say that I see life in sushi. Jeez, it's time for me to go bed.
These last few days, I watched Paranoid Park like a thousand time -well, not entirely, but everytime I watched a big part though. That's because of my sister, she bought the dvd and she's like totally crazy about that movie (ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit, 'cause my sister's never crazy, she's jaded; except when we "don't stop, get it, get it" in my room ahahaha!). It's cool, I love Gus Van Sant and this movie is one of my favourite ones. By the way, there are loads of movies coming out that look pretty good, like The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Afterwards, Revolutionary Road or Bolt (yes, yes, the little dog). Mozart's requiem is so depressing, I'm going to put an other song on. Ok the new one is not better. Anyway, what was I saying? Yes, the movies. Well, I think I'll go and watch Afterwards on Saturday with my dad and sister, and maybe last Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona on Sunday if I have enough time after doing my homework. I have to read lots and lots of books too, but I can't finish the one I'm actually reading, it is so boring (eighteenth century of course, huh). And guess what? I even didn't finish my Poe's one. I suck so, so, so, so much. Furthermore, my two big toes are the ugliest in the world. What? I'm not drunk, I didn't smoke anything weird, well I actually didn't smoke anything at all. I'm just a little bit (ok, forget the "little") tired and stupid.
- Mood:crappy
- Music:brahms - hungarian dance (n°4)
I had a very weird conversation with my sister lately. It was something like a “deep” thought about life in general turns to questions like a game or a quiz; so it didn’t sound that deep. We were asking ourselves what if we didn’t follow our plans, I mean by that our real and serious plans, that is to say studying for a long time, and then getting a job like teacher or journalist, anyway something related to writing for me you know. After that I would save money so I could buy myself an apartment in Paris, a very small one I guess because I won’t have a lot of money and then a car, a black Smart because it’s handy when you live in this town and you don’t have any children. Or maybe I would always be broke, so I would have a rotten apartment in a rotten street in a rotten town of the rotten suburbs; that situation could also be. Anyway, in every case I’d have a job, a home, maybe a cat, a boss, a fridge with fish, tomatoes and yoghurt in it, graduations maybe, bills every month, and vacations at the mountain if I’m lucky –I hate sea and sun. So, I would say I’m happy and I would be proud of what I have and what I do because all of this means that I succeed in my life. What can we ask more? And then, we were asking what if we didn’t do that? What if we gave everything up, just take a car, get out of this town and live on the road with our hippie friends under the burning sun of California singing Janis Joplin’s songs all day long? Huh, sorry I’m getting a bit far, just kidding. But that’s the idea. Think about it, it’s not impossible. Take a car. Take some good, true and faithful friends. Take some clothes, a guitar (of couuuurse), some books, a pen, some paper, a little bit of money. And drive. You’d stop in some town when you need money and work for a while in there to get water, food and other stuffs; and when it’s done, you jump in the car and let the speed take you off the ground. Wouldn’t it be nice? Or you can also be going nowheeeere all aloooone on the road at fuuuull speeeeeed… Yep, things would be so much better if we could turn life into a We The Kings’s or Jack’s Mannequin’s song. If only we could just say “fuck” to everything and run away –and never look back of course. Spend our life away from “them”, have an artistic life, live everyday like it was the last one, be aware everyday of the chance we have to be with the ones we love, don’t worry about superficial stuffs, only think about what you’re going to do in the five next minutes, feel every breath we take, and flee, flee, flee. I don’t know if you understand what I mean. It is not necessarily a question of road or of money. The point is that this is one life’s dream and the question is: do we have to use it? Or do we have to keep it only like a dream? I really don’t know. I do know that you don’t know anything about life when you’re a child, but it doesn’t mean that you are stupid though; I’m only sixteen and I know the end of the story. But that’s ridiculous… I’m writing that now, but in a couple of years I’ll probably be at university having a hard time because I’ll be trying to keep my head above so I don’t sink in the ocean of work. And a couple of years later, I’ll have everything I said before: the fridge, the cat, the job… I’m like everyone and I’ll finish like everyone and everything is going to be alright because that’s how the life is meant to be. Why? That’s only because we don’t have any courage to mess everything up, we all need security just in case, we need money. That’s also because we c-a-n-t do that to all the people who trusted in us this years long, who paid for us to study, who wanted us to succeed in the way of their meaning of success. That’s also because we can so hardly leave these people that we usually love so much. We can’t do that even if someone comes and says “if you jump I will jump to, we will fall together from the building’s ledge”, or “forget yesterday, we’ll make the great escape, they don’t know us anyway”… Or maybe we can? Anyway I know some people of this world took their chance and lived their dream. I know I won’t do the same. It’s not so simple to figure out what our life could be and will never be –it makes me gloomy. This world doesn’t live enough. Wow, it’s about 2:33 am now so I should go bed and stop writing useless and silly stuffs. Sorry for that entry. Good night.
- Mood:thoughtful
- Music:mgmt - everything is happenin' so fast
Hi everyone! I wanted to write something here very quickly because this is my last 2008's entry! 2009 is coming in a couple of hours, and you know what? I don't care at all, but I want to wish you a happy new year and a good luck in everything you want to do anyway! I'm going to spend my night (or at least a part of it) in Paris, but far away from the noise, the fireworks and the usual fights; I'm just going to walk on the Seine's wharfs with my sister and Margaux, and maybe have a cup of coffee in a restaurant. I like evenings like that. So that's it, enjoy your night and do not drink too much champagne because you know you'll regret it tomorrow! Don't also take resolutions, because you also know that you won't keep them. Oh and don't forget to wish a happy birthday to her when you'll be screaming happy new year to everyone at 00:00, she'll be 17 and she still rocks, haha. Anyway, I should go now because I'm already late.
PS : for the ones who had a crappy Christmas, listen to the new We The KIngs's EP called Secret Valentine. I have it since yesterday, and it makes me feel soooo good, I feel like it's Christmas!
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
PS : for the ones who had a crappy Christmas, listen to the new We The KIngs's EP called Secret Valentine. I have it since yesterday, and it makes me feel soooo good, I feel like it's Christmas!
- Mood:annoyed
- Music:we the kings - make it or not
Hey, hey. Wow, it’s been such a long time I haven’t been here! Well, I was a bit busy with school and homework and I must admit that I didn’t have anything really interesting to put on this page. Anyway I hope you’re all doing good and everything -personally I am in spite of the stress of all my tests and work. I spent the day in
Talking about song, I also went to my beloved second hand shop of CD and books and bought a soundtrack by Hans Zimmer and I found a Bloc Party’s album called “A Week-end in the city”. I didn’t know what to do because the first time I heard one of their song (Talons) on the radio, I really hated it. And the second time I heard the same song, I said to myself “Wow this song is amazing, who is that?”. Weird, I know. So I decided to give them a shot by buying that record. I’m currently listening to it and I have to admit that it totally rocks! I love, love, love, love it. I love the singer. That’s a shame I’ve never listened to them before. It’s a good timing because I didn’t have anything to listen to anymore because I didn’t want to weary of Something Corporate. I don’t know if you understand, huh. It’s almost midnight I’m a bit confusing, sorry.
On Friday, I went to the cinema with some guys of my class to watch Changeling, the last movie by Clint Eastwood with Angelina Jolie. It was quite funny because we were supposed to be only three persons, but some invited girls and some invited boys, and there is it. As James said “the more the merrier” and he’s absolutely right. I spent a so good evening! We were supposed to watch The Duchess, but after some problems we finally found a performance of Changeling, and after it we talked a lot about the movie and other stuffs, and this is one of the points that I like the most with this class: we always share our opinions and try to broaden our horizons. Then we ate some pancakes and muffins and drank coffees and it was very nice. What about the film? Well, after seeing it, the first obvious thing that we can say is that is a very hard film. It’s also very sad and disturbing sometime, maybe because it comes from a real story, I guess. I loved it very much. Angelina Jolie is just incredible in her part of the suffering mother who lost her child, she’s really touching. We are very far from the Tomb Raider’s heroin! Her play was poignant and I think it must show well the pain that Christine Collins felt, even if it must be an indescribable feeling. The actor who plays the psychopath is also amazing, but that’s an other story. His only face’s expression is enough to scare us –I confess, I had nightmare last night. Anyway, it was my first Clint Eastwood’s and it’s probably not the last!
I love
PS: it’s snowing outside!
- Mood:excited
- Music:bloc party - sunday
These last days just in a few words because I have to leave the house in a couple of minutes. I have been really busy so I couldn't write anything here. My time spent at the Fashion Week was too short because of some events, homework and sickness but I found it was absolutely amazing and I can't wait March for the next one! What can I say about the Spring/Summer collections ? Well I must admit that I didn't take a look at lots of shows (time's always needed as you can see) but for the moment, I can just say that I love Chanel and Marc by Marc Jacobs's ones. Anyway as I told you I often felt like I was sinking these last weeks because of school, and I want you to know that people who say that we don't work at all in a L class are totally STUPID and pretentious and should rather shut their mouths. All I can say about this first month of work is that we always want what we don't have -- I should never choose this class. I can't sleep at night, wake up every morning at 5:00 AM, have an awful headache and I just look like a zombie... Not cool. I know it's only the beginning of life, real world of work is coming! But I'm not complaining or a least I try not to complain, it makes me vomit. Anyway I got to go, I'm already late. I apologise for all my mistakes in this entry, I wrote it really speedy you know but I'll be back soon and I'll add some photos on my deviantart, I've got something like eleven new ones. Keep in touch.
- Mood:lethargic
- Music:one republic - say
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